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Respecting Your Child’s Boundaries

May 09, 2022
 Respecting Your Child’s Boundaries

Parents often talk about being disrespected, or express concern that their kids don’t follow the rules. On the flip side, do you ever wonder if your child’s boundaries are being respected?

The problem with focusing only on getting our kids to respect our boundaries is that actions speak louder than words.  If we want our kids to knock before entering a closed door, but swiftly open the door on our kids without warning, what do they learn?

We want our kids to have safe body boundaries to help guard them from predators. If your child pulls away from a bedtime kiss or hug, do you respect the boundary? Giving your child small opportunities to use their voice in a safe space helps to prepare them if danger comes. (Let’s pray it doesn’t).

Children who get to help to make rules and have their personal boundaries respected, are more prepared to problem solve and respect the boundaries of others. 

Children with sensory processing struggles such as ADHD, SPD, ODD, and autism struggle with boundaries.  Being mindful of respecting your children’s boundaries is a great hands-on way to teach them the value of boundaries.  Boundaries help us show honor and care for others. In normal child development, children move from being self-centered to being less self-centered between the ages of 6 and 13.  For kids that are not neurotypical, this process moves more slowly.  If you feel like your child is self-centered, he or she probably is…for now.

What can you do today? If your child asks for a break…give it.  If your child wants personal space…give him room.  If your child wants to keep certain items for private use…let her. You get the idea.  It feels good to have boundaries respected which will help your child learn to respect your boundaries over time.

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